A Hero's Heart Read online

  His warm lips trailed soft butterfly kisses

  across her cheek, to her lips. There he kissed her softly, his fingers threading themselves through her hair. As he hugged her closer, his lips turned from soft and gentle to strong and demanding, taking her by surprise.

  Carried along in his ardor, she ran her fingers through his hair, pressing his head closer to her, wanting more of him, meeting his response with her own urgent need.

  His kiss made her hungry for more, aching with the need to be closer to him. Awkward and unsure, but curious at the sensations building within her, Rachel longed to touch him in intimate places, to feel his naked skin, beneath her hands. As yearning stirred between her legs, her awareness increased of a hard pressure against her thighs.

  With a gentle stroke, his hand touched her breast, caressing her through her clothes. The urge to arch her back, give him easier access to her flesh, overwhelmed her, yet the need to feel his hand on her naked breast surprised her.

  With one hand, she tried to unbutton his shirt, but the button refused to budge. She wrestled with the little disk until finally she tugged, sending the piece of wood flying across the wagon. The clatter against wood, shocked her. Who was this wanton woman driven to rip open his shirt, explore his flesh?

  “Rachel!” he groaned against her lips.

  “I’m sorry about your button,” she whispered, her voice husky in the darkness.

  “Forget the damn shirt,” he rasped, grappling with the rest of the buttons and shrugging the unwanted garment from his body.

  “Touch me,” he pleaded.

  She ran her hands across his chest, feeling his nakedness beneath her fingertips. Muscles, hard and firm, warm and silky, flexed at her touch.

  Wade reached back and, with both hands, began the tedious task of unbuttoning her dress. Finally, after what seemed like hours, the dress slide from her shoulders the cool night air caressing her skin.

  “Turn out the lantern,” she said her voice shaky.

  “Only because of the shadows,” Wade replied as he extinguished the light. “I long to see every naked inch of you.”

  He pushed the dress down and over her hips until it landed in a puddle at her feet. She continued to sit on his lap, clad only her chemise and stocking feet, her cheeks hot in the darkness.

  Lifting her in his arms, he laid her on the pallet occupying the floor of the wagon, then returned to sit on the chest. In the darkened wagon, she watched as he bent to remove his boots, the muscles in his back stretched taut.

  When his hands reached for the waistband of his pants, Rachel’s breathing almost stopped, yet she refused to look away.

  She wanted to see all of Wade.

  In one fluid motion, he pushed his pants down, kicking them away. In the darkness, his manhood stood at attention, erect and proud, sending a shiver of anticipation through Rachel.

  Kneeling down on the pallet beside her, his skin glowed in the shadowy moonlight. With his fingertips, he caressed the length of each leg as he removed her stockings, leaving behind a tingling trail of sensation.

  Reaching behind her, he clasped the strings of her chemise and untied the bow. Fear made her heart pound in her chest, but love soothed the anxious feelings and turned them into desire. The need to touch him intensified as she ran her fingers lightly across his face and lips.

  He kissed her fingertips before raising her up to a sitting position. Slowly, he removed her chemise, leaving her totally naked and exposed to his gaze. Though inside she cringed with apprehension, she refused to cower as he looked upon her.

  “Oh, God, Rachel. You’re more beautiful than I dreamed,” he said, his voice husky.

  The heat from his gaze made her ache Rachel ache with need. She wanted him next to her, wanted to feel his naked skin against her, wanted him to kiss her until she couldn’t breathe.

  Wade bent over her breast, closing his mouth around her nipple. She clenched her fists in his hair to keep from moaning out aloud as he lovingly kissed each breast.

  The sensations flowing through her were totally foreign and all Rachel knew was she never wanted him to stop. His hand touched the moist, tender spot between her thighs.

  She arched her back, crying out loud with need. “Wade!”

  “It’s okay, sweetness,” he reassured her. “You’re supposed to feel this way.”

  No one had told her that making love would be so wonderful. She wanted more, she wanted to feel all of him. She couldn’t resist touching him as he slid over her skin. Gently, she raked her fingernails over his back, pulling him ever closer to her.

  Moist with the honey of her arousal, his fingers continued to evoke delicious feelings while his mouth finally found its way to hers. She attacked his lips, needing the feel of him deep inside her.

  He positioned himself over her, his knee gently spreading her legs. There was a brief moment of anxiety as he placed his manhood between her thighs.

  She tensed for just a second, but he kissed her, until she was so caught up that the pain of his entry caught her off guard.

  As he eased his way into her body, she cried out.

  “Easy sweetheart. The pain will soon be over,” he whispered against her temple as he lay still within her.

  What seemed like minutes passed as he murmured softly to her. Finally, she felt him move within her. The pleasure soon began to rebuild, surprising her.

  His lips surrounded hers, kissing her until she felt she would suffocate with joy.

  An incredible urge to rock him to her made her hips fall into a natural rhythm. He plunged within her, each thrust creating new sensations, all centered in the increasing heat between her thighs.

  To Rachel it seemed her body was climbing, reaching, for some unknown destination, building and gathering every feeling in the center of her being. When she thought she couldn’t take any more, her world exploded in a shattering release.

  Spiraling back to Earth, she cried out his name, just as he, too, exploded within her.

  She lay still, her pulse pounding in her ears, her heart swelling with love. The wonder of the moment left her feeling whole, complete and more than a little languorous.

  Wade’s head lay against her shoulder, his body pressed into hers as his heartbeat slowed and his breathing returned to normal. Rachel ran her hand down the sleek power of his back, loving the feel of him within her. For several minutes, they lay quietly, savoring the moment.

  Finally, she asked, “Is it always like this?”

  Wade raised up on one elbow, his eyes glowing like green embers in the faint light. He brushed back a lock hair that lay against her cheek. “No. Next time it’ll be better?”

  Rachel snuggled closer. “How can it get any better?”

  Wade laughed and kissed her softly. “The first time is usually painful for a woman. It shouldn’t feel that way again.”

  “I wasn’t thinking about the pain,” she replied. “I was considering the way you made me feel. Is it always so intense?”

  Wade smiled. “Only when it’s good, Rachel.”

  * * *

  In the hours before dawn, Wade awoke to the sounds of the camp beginning to stir. His arm was wrapped around Rachel, her naked body tucked up against him. Holding her revived the joy of making love far into the night, each giving and receiving.

  The preacher’s daughter had taken him to heights of pleasure, he’d never before experienced. She’d loved him like a wildcat and now she lay curled in his arms, sleeping like a kitten.

  Last night, they had teased and flirted about curing his craving, but the morning light found him more in love with her than the night before. This craving was definitely not cured. One sweet sip of her nectar would never be enough.

  But to continually drink from the well, would soon find him addicted to the water. And though he loved Rachel with all his heart, he could never tell her.

  Speaking the words out loud would only make them permanent, and they had could never last. Rachel deserved a far better man th
an he was, a man who could provide a home and family for her.

  But what a price to pay. To give up the woman who had finally captured his heart.

  If he made her his wife, one day she would wake up and realize he could never be the man she wanted. Then she would hate him for not walking away.

  Hell, she was going to hate him regardless. No matter what she’d said last night, this morning, she would expect declarations of love. A proposal of marriage. Something he could never offer if he wanted to see her happy.

  So what did he do now? The night was over, and the morning sun would soon welcome the day, along with the consequences of their actions last night.

  He ran his hand down her arm, across her breasts and stomach to her hip. Satin-smooth skin against his rough fingers, invited further exploration. Even this morning, his body’s reaction was swift and sure as she snuggled closer to him, her bottom rubbing against his manhood. Last night had not cured anything. In fact, his feelings were more complicated now than ever before. In the darkness, Wade eased up off the pallet and found his clothes. Long before dawn he left camp, his heart aching with the pain of his decision.

  * * *

  Dear Diary,

  Last night changed everything. Two months ago I hated Wade Ketchum. But now, more than anything, I want to be his wife. For the first time in my life, I’m in love. This is not the infatuation I felt for Ethan. This much, much stronger.

  Even though we’re not truly married, I feel as though we are man and wife. So much so that I became his wife in the truest sense last night. I had never imagined how it could be between a man and a woman. No one told me of the joy I would feel.

  Rachel closed the diary and blew out the lantern. She had awakened before the first glint of daylight to an empty wagon. Wade had already left to take care of the stock, though his scent clung to his pillow. She picked up the cushion and hugged it to her, wishing Wade had lingered in the wagon.

  Her skin tingled with the memory of the love they’d shared through the night. Never before had she felt so alive, so much in love. The need to see Wade, hug him to her, sent her scurrying out of bed into the cool dawn air.

  Though her body was tender in places, her heart was overflowing with happiness. She dressed quickly eager to find him, eager to share this morning—and the rest of her life—with Wade.

  As she stepped out of the wagon, a soggy mist slapped her like a wet sponge. The dew-wet grass soaked the hem of her skirt, but Rachel vowed nothing could dampen her spirits.

  She stroked the fire, hoping to break the chill as the sun began to lighten the eastern sky with the promise of a new day. Like a giddy young girl, she waited for Wade.

  When she could to tarry no longer, she started breakfast, expecting him to walk into camp at any moment. The children returned from Mary’s expecting to be fed just like on any other morning. Afterward Rachel was the dishes and packed the tent.

  Still no sign of Wade.

  Giddiness turned to disappointment, as she hitched the oxen to the wagon. Most mornings, he was back before breakfast. Most mornings, he was underfoot. But this morning, the dawn of their new love, he was nowhere to be found.

  Rachel tightened the cinch on the harness to the oxen. The doubts she’d pushed away last night, returned with a vengeance. Last night, he’d never said he loved her. He’d never promised marriage.

  Had she imagined the way his eyes glowed when he looked at her, the way his body had responded to her touch? Or could it be he was having second thoughts about making love to her?

  Everything was loaded into the wagon: the kids, the cooking utensils, the tent. Other wagons were beginning to pull out, getting a head start. She couldn’t wait any longer. It was time to put last night behind her and face the reality of the new day.

  She swallowed the lump that seemed lodged in her throat. Disappointment turned into fear.

  Rachel climbed up into the wagon. Maybe it was better this way. Had she misread his feelings from the night before? Had it not been a meaningful experience for him?

  She grabbed the reins, yelling at the oxen, “Move!”

  Chapter Thirteen

  Slumped in the saddle, Wade reluctantly rode into camp as the sun slipped low in the sky. A cook breeze grazed his cheeks, and he knew it wouldn’t be the only cool reception he’d receive.

  This morning, the sight of Rachel’s hair sprawling across his naked chest, the feel of his buttocks snug against his groin, had sent him fleeing from the wagon. He had deliberately stayed away all day, trying to sort out his feelings for Rachel.

  His thoughts had swirled like a whirlwind, never reaching an end, always coming back to the face he loved. But the facts didn’t change. He was a gambler who had a brother to find, and she was a lady.

  A sigh escaped him, and he clenched his fists, knowing she was going to hate him for making love to her and never proposing marriage, hate him for walking away when all he wanted to do was stay.

  All day, he’d tried to drive the lust from his body by pushing himself to the extreme, though all he’d wanted to do was crawl back into Rachel’s bed.

  Toby came bounding toward him, grabbing Sadie’s reins. “Hey, Wade. Where you been?”

  “Hunting,” Wade replied. It wasn’t totally honest, but it wasn’t a lie, either.

  “Rachel’s been acting kind of funny today,” Toby said. “Did you two fight?”

  “I wouldn’t worry, Toby.” Wade swung his leg over his horse. Handing the reins to the boy, he tipped back his hat and swiped his brow with the back of his hand. “I’ll check on her.”

  “Thanks, Wade.”

  That morning, part of Wade had wanted to ride away and never look back, but he’d known he couldn’t do that to Rachel and the children. Yet he doubted his ability to keep his hands off her for the next six weeks.

  Only one part of his anatomy had been doing the thinking last night, and unfortunately, it wasn’t the smartest part. Only an ignorant fool would have let things go so far. Tonight, he knew he couldn’t let it happen again.

  Supper sizzled on the fire, filling the camp with a welcome aroma, while Grace and Daniel chased each other around the tent. Their exuberant squeals were strangely soothing as he watched their childish play.

  A dainty slippered foot peeped out of the tent, followed by the rest of Becky, dressed as if she were off to afternoon tea. Daniel’s little legs came toddling at full speed around the tent and plowed straight into Becky’s peach cotton skirt. He wrapped his grimy hands into the folds of the clean material.

  “Don’t touch me!” she shrieked as she jerked the tot’s fingers from her skirt. Daniel gazed up, his big brown eyes questioning. With a firm grip, she held him at arm’s length, away from her clothing. Twisting his body, he kicked out at her until, exasperated, he stuck his tongue out and blew, the sound echoing Wade’s opinion.

  “Grace!” Becky demanded. “Get this kid away from me.”

  “Come on, Daniel,” Grace called, drawing the toddler away from Becky. “Let’s go play somewhere else.”

  Wade inhaled a deep breath, trying to control the surge of anger Becky always seemed to provoke. “Where’s Rachel?”

  “She’s in the wagon,” Becky replied with barely a glance.

  “Take the children and follow Toby to the river to feed and water the horses.”

  “I don’t have time,” she replied, turning away.

  “I’m not asking you, I’m telling you,” Wade called after her, not in any mood to argue.

  She glanced back at him. “I have plans.”

  “Your plans just got delayed. Stay with the children by the river.”

  The look she gave Wade should have singed the whiskers off his face. She stared, as if trying to decide whether to give up or continue her argument. Finally, she emitted a loud groan before she grabbed Grace by the arm. “Get Daniel and let’s go.”

  Wade watched the little procession head, down the path after Toby. Grace turned and looked back at him as if he wer
e punishing her. Daniel’s little legs ran to keep up. Wade’s heart wrenched at the sight, and he realized leaving them behind would be almost as bad as walking away from Rachel.

  But nothing could hurt as much as relinquishing Rachel.

  His boots seemed filled with sand as his stride slowed on the final steps to the wagon. He dreaded this first meeting.

  The wagon creaked, and Wade watched Rachel crawl over the seat, her back to him. She stepped down onto the wheel, and he reached up to catch her at the waist. The feel of her reminded him of the night before.

  She stiffened at his touch. “You’re back.”

  As her feet touched the ground, she whirled around to face him. Her eyes were red-rimmed as if she’d been crying.

  “Where have you been all day?”

  “Where I am every day, scouting the trail.”

  She looked at him as if she wanted to wrap her hands around his throat and strangle him. “I missed you at breakfast.”

  “Too busy. Had to take care of the animals.”

  He couldn’t tell her the tender touch of her slender thighs against his this morning had sent him running. But, dear God, the sight of her now made him want her back in his arms tonight, holding her close for whatever time they had left.

  “Supper should be ready in a little while,” she coldly replied as she turned and walked to the fire.

  “Thanks. I’ve got to talk to Frank. I’ll be back soon.”

  The woman wasn’t ignorant; she knew something was wrong. Somehow her easy acceptance didn’t bring the relief he thought he’d feel. It only made him ache worse.

  * * *

  The fire sizzled as drippings from the roasting rabbit drizzled onto the coals. Kneeling, Rachel turned the meat on the skewer. She couldn’t help but commiserate with the poor rabbit. The morning had left her feeling naked and exposed, while the warm sun had broiled her raw emotions at a slow cook all day.

  Brushing back a stray lock of hair, she rose from the head of the fire and, like a limp rag, collapsed into the rocker.